If you had asked me years ago about grief, I would have given you a cookie-cutter answer. Back then, nothing had happened in my life that required me to truly grieve.
But now I understand.
Grief is a battle some days. I never really know what to expect when I open my eyes and head to work. Will I be okay today? Or will a memory suddenly surface that makes me stumble or lose my train of thought?
I no longer fight my feelings when they rise to the surface, but I also try not to trust every single one of them either. Feelings are real, but they aren’t always true. It’s a daily surrender—a daily carrying of my cross.
Walking Through Fire
Back in 2021, when my inner struggles began, I picked up a book I never expected would impact me so deeply: Walking Through Fire by Vaneetha Risner.
I don’t usually read memoirs, but this one was different. It left such a mark on me that I’ve bought copies for five other people—and I’ll continue to share it with anyone I think could benefit.
One quote she shared from Charles Spurgeon stopped me in my tracks:
“It would be a very sharp and trying experience to me to think that I have an affliction God never sent me—that the bitter cup was never filled by His hand, that my trials were never measured out by Him, nor sent to me by His arrangement of their weight and quantity.”
Spurgeon himself suffered from deep depression and physical pain, yet he said it would actually be worse if he believed his suffering had not come from God’s hand.
That thought staggered me. And yet, when I read Romans 8:28, I began to understand:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
My pain isn’t random. Neither is yours.
Held in His Hands
I once read a quote from Warren Wiersbe that brought me deep comfort:
“When God puts His children into the furnace, He keeps His hand on the thermostat and His eye on the thermometer.”
In other words, God knows exactly how hot it needs to be, and how long it needs to last. He is in control. Always.
I may never understand why certain things have happened in my life, but I trust the One who does. So I give myself grace when the sadness comes, I pray and worship when I can, and I do my best to be a light to others—even when I don’t feel much like one.
Comfort for the Journey
Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 12 that God’s strength is made perfect in weakness. That means even when I feel crushed, God is strong in me. His heart breaks when I cry, and He holds every tear in His hand (Psalm 56:8).
So take heart in the promises of God. You are deeply loved. You are cared for. And even when it feels never-ending, you will make it through.
And maybe one day, like me, you’ll look back and realize—grief has become your teacher, and God has been faithful every step of the way.
The Quiet Scroll 
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